In the Future

Back Field in July
© Jenn Ressmann

So now what?

My life. It had gotten too too complicated.

But, I love my life. And, I want to hold onto what’s important. What I will look back on and be proud of. Happy with.

To keep dear what is important and cherish what I love, something had to change. Something had to give.

In my grief last week – I had an epiphany. I find these are usually what are most fulfilling in life. Sudden, intuitive perceptions. They come on quick – sometimes just a flash, an opportunity. They make sense. Like a clearing. The path is right there – ohhh, of course! You have to be open to them. Listen to what you “hear” from the universe. Awareness. Pay attention and your Intuition can help guide your life in a positive way.

I had turned a corner. The path laid right out in front of me – I just had to follow it. Everything else can fall away and I won’t feel bad about it. Weird. Because the other path I took before was like I was in the trees and brush trying to hack away at finding the trail. It never ever came easily. Ever. It was always a struggle. The exhaustion from always wondering. I’m tired of feeling that way.

And, while I have really enjoyed the art I have made up until this point, I really didn’t know what the hell I was making it for other than the fun of it. It never felt really serious. Ever. Even when I was working commercially – in an office, in a studio, as a freelancer. It was always about the fun of it.

And, sorry, for me – that’s not enough. It has to be significant or what’s the point? I can find fun anywhere (hiking, biking, swimming, boating, spending time with friends, movies, reading, etc) – what I need is for my work to be important.

From this point in my journey, I’ve decided to do a 180 in my art. To make art around my life instead of pushing art into the cracks and crevasses of what’s leftover. I certainly feel more peaceful.

I hope you will enjoy the turn in my journey.  My art will revolve in my life. It will complete it instead of compete with it.

I hope you are living a full life. Doing the things you love. Being with whom you love.

xo Jenn

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6 thoughts on “In the Future

  1. Animals are our trusted teachers about our hearts and spirits. When they leave us they also teach us to grieve well.

    I am so sorry about the death of your special friend. I lost my 17 year old cat on December 21, 2011 and my grief is still raw from time to time, so I understand some of what you are going through.

  2. I know what you mean about your work not feeling important. I’ve been there and it’s times like these that make you examine things. Several years ago a woman came to my studio and commissioned a painting of her dog that had died six months prior. Even that much later she was still tearing up. I did the painting for her and it seemed to help her. I think it helped both of us. She told me later that her other dogs would sit beneath it and stare up at it. “Rudder” was his name and he was the ‘leader of the pack.’

    I’m sorry for your loss, Jenn. They’re just animals but they never are really “just animals.’ Nothing that gives unconditional love as these animals do will ever fit that description.

    • Thanks Brian. I’m truly amazed how much my dog was way more than a “just a dog”. I am happily surprised how big of a hole he’s left in my heart and home.

      That’s such a nice story about Rudder. And, I’m sure the lady gets a small laugh when the other dogs enjoy the painting! It’s so important to remember how they made our lives better with the funny stuff, too.

      The experience of his life and death have really been overwhelming in so many ways. I’ve learned & loved so much. 🙂

  3. Animals are our trusted teachers about our hearts and spirits. When they leave us they also teach us to grieve well.”

    That is a very wise statement. I just lost my beloved kitty at the beginning of the year. I feel his presence everywhere, but where he should be, he is not. I miss him every day.

    I find your statements about art very interesting. Where does inspiration come from, and why do we do it? I don’t think there’s anything wrong with doing something for the fun of it. Pure joy can come from exploring images that you just simply like for no other reason than liking it. Or just the act of making art.
    Then again it can exist on a completely other level, the one that explores all those deep mysteries and helps us understand the world. If you are striving for that but coming up with only the fun stuff, you do feel like you are hacking through the dense underbrush, trying to find the path!
    Its no coincidence that you find clarity in a moment of intense emotion. Its those deeply profound life experiences that we carry with us and provide the lens we see through.

    I’m glad you are using your art to reflect this. When I do my professional work, sometimes I feel that my right arm and hand is simply my commercial commodity. That’s okay, because it provides me much material comfort, and I’m very grateful for that. Sometimes I wish my personal talents were worth more money, but that’s another conversation. Then I would push myself outside of work to be producing more and more, my own art, you know that “pressure” that all artist feel to do their personal work that is more important, better than the rest. But maybe its the commercial artist in me, I had to have a reason for it, like to produce for holiday shows so I could make more money, that sort of thing. So then my images would reflect what I thought other people would buy, its commercial appeal. It worked, but it was unfulfilling.
    Now I’ve decided to take on projects only when they are important to me. If I do a commission, of course I accept the expectations, but if I provide a personal drive to reflect those deeper senses we’re talking about, interestingly enough, the art is always more successful on every level. Even if I’m including the just for fun stuff. It has brought an amazingly fulfilling aspect to my art that I didn’t have before.
    Rock on, my friend!

    • Hi Melissa. You have always been one of the wisest people I know. You must be an old soul for sure.

      In college – you also told me “the dream is sometimes better than the reality”. It wasn’t a few years after I had been working as a photographer – did I really know what you meant. Ha!

      I think an artistic life will probably always be one of push and pull. What direction will we take this year, this time, this day!?

      I’m so sorry for your loss, too. I know it was becoming something you had to make a decision on. Breaks my heart.

      xo

  4. Hi Judith. Oh, my goodness. 17 years. You’re so lucky to have had many many great years! December 21st isn’t that long ago. I’m so sorry. Everywhere you look – their favorite hangouts – where they’ve been for so long – where are they?

    It’s funny how naive I’ve been. Like I’m the last person on earth to lose a pet. Do you have others? Will you get another kitty, too?

    Thanks Judith!

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